Consciously Feeling the Missing piece in the 4th Step Process

The 4th step process can take weeks or months for some people. Some never finish it. We hurt, we are in pain, and once again there is no relief. You are told to pray to ask for relief, to go to meetings, and easy does it. This way has worked for people. But, does it have to be this way? What if you could learn to be with what you were feeling even if it was uncomfortable? What if you could even process the energy and move through it?! That would be empowering instead of being a victim to it.
The body just wants to feel ‘normal’ meaning most of us have felt pain our entire lives and that energy becomes the vibrational set point ‘normal’ for the body. What would be different is feeling relief from the pain and knowing how to handle uncomfortable feelings when they arise instead of stuffing or numbing them.
The point of a fourth step inventory is to look at our “compulsive behavior”. The Big Book refers to a compulsion as “excessive wants that dominate our normal needs.”
The 4th step process has great potential. Unfortunately, a lot of people go back to drinking or drugging during this part of the process. Why? Because of our bodies store the unresolved resonance in the cellular memory. It is brought out of storage our ‘subconscious’ and feels as alive today as it was at the time of the incident.
Many uncomfortable feelings arise such as embarrassment, fear, guilt, shame, anger, remorse, etc… You then ask yourself where have I been selfish, dishonest, self seeking, or fearful the Big Book refers to these as the ‘seven deadly sins’ pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy and sloth and we list them next to our experiences, so we can start to see our patterns and how we interact with people, places, and things. Your left feeling what you do not want to feel. The experiences that made you numb out to begin with are once again resurfacing and we are supposed to grin and bare it during this process.
One of the greatest challenges for any person wrapped up in an addiction regardless of “what their drug of choice is” is getting them not only to feel again, but to TRUST what their feeling! People that suffer from addiction are controlled by what they feel thus they don’t want to feel. Has this been your experience?
The following process may help you to start to allow what you feel.
Should you feel nothing ‘numbness’ during this exercise then allow that. DO NOT judge yourself for doing something wrong. For many addicts just feeling their ‘numbness’ is the first step into the realm of feelings. Just be with whatever arises for you notice it and have fun with it.

EXERCISE: Sit comfortably and quietly. Let your body rest easily. Breathe gently. Let go of your thoughts, past and future, memories and plans. Just be present. Begin to let your own precious body reveal the places that most need healing.
Observe any resistance within yourself. Observe the attachment to your pain. Be very alert. Observe the peculiar pleasure you derive from being unhappy. Observe the compulsion to talk or think about it. Focus attention on the negative feeling inside you. Accept that it is there. Don’t think about it—don’t let the feeling turn into thinking. Don’t judge yourself out of it. Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you.

Allow the physical pains, tension, disease, or wounds to show themselves. Bring a careful and kind attention to these painful places. Slowly feel their physical energy. Notice what is deep inside them, pulsations, throbbing, tension, fear, contraction, aching, that make up what we call the pain body. Allow these all to be felt fully, to be held in a receptive and kind attention. Then, be aware of the surrounding area of your body. If there is contraction and holding, notice it. Breathe into it and let it open.

In the same way, be aware of any aversion or resistance in your mind. Notice the thoughts and fears that accompany the pain you are exploring:
“It will never go away.”
“I can’t stand it.”
“I don’t deserve this.”
“It is too hard, too much trouble, too deep,” etc.

Acknowledge these thoughts but, then gently return to your physical body. Let your awareness be deeper and more allowing now. Again, feel the layers of the place of pain, and allow each layer that opens to move, to intensify, or dissolve in its own time. Bring your attention to the pain as if you were gently comforting a child, holding it all in a loving and soothing attention.
Continue this process until you feel reconnected with whatever part of your body calls you, until you feel at peace.

I hope this helps.

Namaste’ Gary

Resonances within Relationships

Relationships are a mirror. We always attract to us what we are not willing to look at within oursleves in a partner. We keep believing that repetition of the past will resolve the issue. Our wounds can only become gateways to our healing when we become willing to be with them in a new way. When we take full responsibility for our feelings it gives us the ability to shed tears and do the grief work that is necessary to feel joy again. As long as we choose to stay unconscious to our resonances we remain in a fearful place standing on the edge of the cliff knowing we need to jump into the abyss below, but remaining paralyzed to do so because of the fear of the unknown. The fear of what is beyond the murky abyss.

Freud wrote, “Every conflict has to be fought out in the sphere of the transference… for when all is said and done it is impossible to destroy anyone in absentia or effigy.” We may not be able to cause pains to the one’s that hurt us in the past, but we can cause pain those we love now. Here is how a transference may look in a conflict.

A female partners yells at her male lover. The event triggers a cellular memory and brings forth images or the voice of his dad. He seethed because he still feels intense anger towards his father for being told what to do and who he should be. The triggered anger is aimed at both a partner and a father, and perhaps another as well. Our feelings can become so dramatic and entangled. They seldom emerge from a pure state of consciousness just between two people. Since no relationship is between just two people there are always at least 4 players involved in the cellular memory that is being triggered in the moment for healing. Our resonances are rich with feelings, stories, concepts, projections, and beliefs.

On the other hand our raw healthy feelings simply flow without prejudice or censorship. Anger attached to a perceived injustice by a partner usually has elements of blame, judgment, and unrealistic expectations familiar from the anger of a parent towards us in childhood. When we contact our feelings through such a murky layer of Ego we can naturally assume more is happening than just the current situation. These sensitive overlays of emotion are clues as to how we felt in childhood.

We may stay too long in what does not work, that is to become codependent. We may keep trying to fix a loved one. We may keep being patient with their trespasses against our boundaries or those of our children. The struggle is to adjust to a relationship that is dysfunctional or hurtful is not as useful as the struggle to decide what to do. The decision is the same as working with the resonance itself, to address the issue so it can be worked through so change can be the result.

A partner or sibling who refuses to participate is no longer a partner, but a threat to our well-being. This is where fear can become a trap that paralyzes us further or a signal that it is time to set ourselves free. Codependency is coined originally from referring to a partner of an alcoholic; it was intended to show alcoholism is a family/relationship disease. The nondrinker enables the other to continue in their addiction by making excuses for them or staying with them despite the emotional or physical abuse.  In times were consciousness was at a different level this was considered a sign of love or personal strength; to leave a person when their down would be selfish and not an act of love or support. Using this term codependency we can denote a problem in us to bridge a new healthier way to see what love is really about. To stay in painful situations with no prospect of change or hoping one will change is loyal, but it is not love. It is harmful to both parties. To see it this way we have to believe we have a right to happiness a cause and result of self-esteem!

Love is a two-way street a cause and result of healthy intimacy. We have to believe that unconditional love does not mean being unconditionally committed to staying stuck in a hopeless situation. This more mature balanced look at love is a result of balanced living when body/mind/spirit are in alignment. We can be set free from a life of endurance and have a life of receiving and giving. It is about love that includes being happy. The only way though for this to manifest is dealing with the resonances that continue to cause you pain in relationships.

The Power of Detachment

You are about to discover a wealth of information that will bring your happiness to the next level! When this technique is practiced daily detachment, hidden magical powers are manifested within you begins to emerge in your life.

The magical art of detachment is based on a teaching that is thousands of years. The wise Buddha once said: “Attachment leads to suffering”, which also leads to undermine the ability to manifest your dreams.

Attachment to any thought, feeling, object, person (or whatever) is based on fear, lack and lack of courage. When you live with love, confidence and self esteem, who are away from your goal, in a space of trust, allowing the universe handle the details for you.

“The law of detachment means to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to give up your attachment to it. This does not mean to renounce your intention to create your desire. Do not give up the intention, and not give up the desire. Give up your commitment to the outcome. “~ Deepak Chopra

In the instant that you are attached to any idea, your body creates a hook, and the tension tight around that thought.

Always according to the outside world for your happiness, success and love is a sure way to find a sense of future failure. When your happiness is determined by any thought, feeling or external event, then you become a slave to your life and the endless cycle of suffering begins.

“Life is a daring adventure or nothing.” ~ Helen Keller

Recovering Your Soul

The soul is best understood not as a wispy ghost but as your true self, present in you at this moment. You don’t see it, although when you feel the impulse of love, you have contacted it. There can be no doubt that you have a self, therefore to step onto a new level, that of your true self, is not actually so formidable a task.

Each of us has developed a strong belief in a false self built up from the ego. Ego has already come up several times, but let me briefly summarize its value system through a few key words: limited, constricted, clinging, acquisitive, closed-off, and afraid. Just listing them makes it hard to believe that anyone would owe their allegiance to these values, but consider how much behavior is motivated by them.

The true self is of immediate value because it can fulfill needs that the ego cannot. These needs are as follows: The need for safety. The need to belong. The need to be acknowledged by others. The need to matter. The need to express yourself freely. The need for love.

Desire and fulfillment are the natural rhythm of life. Each of these needs exists to be met. Your true self is already fulfilled, therefore when you merge with your true self, you will be able to feel completely wanted, safe, worthy, and loved. Expressing yourself will come naturally and freely. You will matter more than you ever imagined.

The ego sees the same needs and feels the same desire, but it reaches outside for fulfillment. People try to convince themselves that they matter if they have status and money. They feel they are expressing themselves if they can make their opinions heard. They try to belong by climbing the ladder of success.

The strategy of reaching outward is the only one the ego knows. The true self knows only the strategy of going inward.

Adapted from The Deeper Wound: Recovering the Soul from Fear and Suffering, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2001).

Forgiving Our Addictions and Compulsions (part 2)

This concept of forgiving our addictions/compulsions can be scary for some of us especially since I believe what I am writing about is in shedding a new light upon an old concept. This though is the beauty contained within the C.M.R. process to reconnect with our bodies. The body-mind system is ONE! It is not separate as some might have you believe. We are all created from the ‘ONENESS’ there is no separation in us or between anything and anyone else. It is the neurotic EGO that glorifies separateness.
However, if forgiving your compulsions is not speaking to you right now lets look a little more closely at for giving yourself; after all your compulsions may not trust your new intention to heal. A compulsion is the energy that creates the addiction when left unchecked.

As in Step 3 (made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of GOD as we understood him) we need to have willingness to begin to forgive ourselves. This may be hard after many years of our minds convincing us we do not serve and all the reasons that follow. However, we owe ourselves this mercy.

In step 8 (made a list of all person(s) we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all) my AL-Anon sponsor had me do something different with this step. She, yes, I said she made me put myself at the TOP OF THE AMENDS LIST. What? I didn’t need forgiving! I had done all these horrible things to others revealed through my 4 step!

I was guided to the 12 steps and 12 traditions book pages 79-80. Where it says and I quote: “In many instances though we may find the harm we have done to others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done to ourselves has. Very deep, sometimes quite forgotten, damaging emotional conflicts persist below the level of consciousness.”

The persisting ‘emotional conflicts below the level of consciousnesses’ are our compulsive energies and unmet needs. I think there is much more awareness work that can be done with step 8. Most people in recovery just want to get to step 9 and there is usually little time spent examining what this step is really asking of us.

It deals with the surface stuff making amends and forgiving ourselves for the attitudes, judgments, behaviors, and inappropriate actions with others.

But, what if we started to look for and make a list of the ‘compulsions’ that were behind the behaviors? And ask ourselves what ‘NEED’ was I trying to meet in that experience?
A good beginning is to start every morning when you’re looking in the bathroom mirror and say, ‘I forgive you’ and add your name at the end. Say it like a mantra. Forgive all the parts of yourself that are unacceptable and unlovable. You will see where you are still closed. Allow yourself to feel the contracted energy. It is through the contraction you will find your way back to your heart and your own Vast Intelligence within you.
Your mind will put many obstacles in the way of this process. For the neurotic EGO wants nothing to do with ‘oneness’ or ‘forgiveness.’ It is life threatening to the EGO.
Watch and observe the mind without judgments just notice what is there.
Reaction and resentment are buried deep inside us. They are a part of the ‘collective consciousness’ and this energy have been passed down through the millennium. In the willingness to explore our own forgiveness we will see the protective walls we have put up around our hearts. Forgiveness is not just about hearing the anger or grief; it is also about listening for the longing that is deep within us; reconnecting with ourselves, to create more space within.
When we can learn to accept our lives as they are past and present we can begin to live in a more present state of awareness.
When we process the wounded energy around the addiction then we can forgive ourselves and love ourselves.
Our healing starts with a commitment. Our recovery started with a surrendering and willingness. In learning to forgive and love ourselves again we make a commitment to become willing and teachable so we may love and celebrate life after the addiction. Taking responsibility and making a commitment to your healing is like working steps 4-10. It acknowledges ‘this is me feeling this now’. This is your beings creative expression! Give thanks and feel the gratitude that wells up from within and pat yourself on the back for doing this work. There is nothing inherited that is wrong with us we were always LOVE.

Namaste’ Gary

Three Components that Cause Our Pain

The irritable, restless, discontented part of ourselves can be called many things. Carl Yung the great Psychiatrist called it the inner shadow. Ekhart Tolle refers to it as the pain body; others call it unconscious energy. The interpretation is really unimportant. What is important is that you are uncomfortable in your own body. How did we get this way? More importantly what are we doing to bring resolution to it?

There are many unhealthy ways to deal with our emotional pain. Television, videos, porn, internet, shopping, eating, sex, drugs, alcohol, smoking, denial, the list goes on and on. People walk around like zombies. There’s a body there, but nobodies home. Society teaches us at a young age to look outside of ourselves for our happiness. Yet, Americans are one of the unhappiest cultures in the world. We have everything and anything we want and we are not happy. How did this happen?

I have been working with cellular memory for a few years now and I am starting to piece the puzzle together. For I too used to be in this unhappy unconscious state of living thinking I was living! What we have forgotten is that we are first and foremost consciousness. We are not our bodies, minds, thoughts, or emotions. We have also forgotten we are joy and love. It is always there, but we have stuffed it somewhere deep within. As I see it there are really three major components to our happiness and wellbeing.

1. Beliefs
2. Accepting ourselves
3. Being at peace with our past

Any one of these components can cause major pain and suffering if not processed, but all three together create a recipe for great unhappiness, separation, and disease. When we are caught up in the story and drama we must seek relieve for it is to painful to live in our own body/mind systems. We need to check out. This is how many become addicts and alcoholics. The good news is when you start focusing on these three components you can experience relieve and the desire to use or drink dissipates like morning dew in the sunshine. We do not have to label ourselves one thing or another. This creates a small paradigm and we get stuck believing something about ourselves that may not be true.

Twelve step recovery programs talk a great deal about acceptance. Acceptance of self, Acceptance of others, acceptance of daily life and events; we are deemed powerless (step 1) over such events and therefore must accept whatever is happening in our lives. But, is that true? Are we powerless? I think not. We have great power within us. We have great resolve. What we are powerless over at the time of the compulsion or addiction is what we have not chosen to take a look at and process within ourselves. We create our reality to a large extent. We are co-creating every second of every day. We are consciousness after all. It is up to us to remember!

Of course steps 4-8 deal with our past. Recovery and Wellness Centers spend a lot of time uncovering the skeletons in our closet and cleaning up our shattered and traumatic pasts, and then we go make amends to those we have harmed in step 9 and make things right if possible. This is a great step and if you work these steps diligently they can bring relief. This might bring some peace for a while, but its merely touching the surface.

Twelve step programs don’t deal with stuck energy (resonances) or beliefs. These underlying conditions are the termites that eat away at our foundations of happiness and contentment. Yes, we have caused great damage and pain to others in many cases, but it is our own unprocessed pain that gave birth to a compulsive energy turned into an addiction. There is nothing inherently wrong with us except we have lost the intuitive ability to process and feel our way through our lives. If you truly want to be free of the 5 headed horsemen (guilt, shame, remorse, anger, and fear) then you must begin to look at the original wounding. A resonance is energy in the body that did not get processed at the time of the event. From this place we form new beliefs about ourselves and others.

Example: Lets say when you were 8 years old you were molested by someone you loved unconditionally. You trusted that person. You had no reason not to. Maybe it only happened once or twice, but that child forms a resonance of energy they contract from the adult because the adult knows its wrong. Then as that child grows up this experience becomes forgotten hidden in the basement of the unconscious. However, how they relate to particular gender, how they interact with people, what they believe about themselves and others and how the Then as that child grows up this experience becomes forgotten hidden in the basement of the unconscious. However, how they relate to particular gender, how they interact with people, what they believe about themselves and others and how the interact in relationships all stems from that once experience so many years ago. They have more bad experiences or they do not understand why they do not trust or can not be intimate with a partner. This one event can cause years or a life time of pain if not processed.

It is important to explore our beliefs. We operate every day and make decisions because of our beliefs. Our beliefs are stored in the dark unconscious corners of our being. Accepting ourselves, forgiving ourselves, learning to love ourselves is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves. For we can not accept another, or love another, till we can do it for ourselves. It starts from within. Finally, finding peace with our past. This is a big piece. It sounds easy, but many of us are consumed by guilt, shame, remorse, fear etc…The past is only the past if we can leave it their and not re-live it or re-feel it daily. The past then becomes the present and we are stuck in world of polarities. To move forward of the past is not forget or numb out, but to process what needs to be felt and move on.

Namaste’ Gary

Beliefs Create our Experiences

Our beliefs strongly influence our behavior. They motivate us and shape what we do. For instance, it is difficult to learn anything without the belief that it will be pleasant and to our advantage. What are beliefs? How are they formed and how do we maintain them?

Beliefs come from many sources – upbringing, imitation of significant others, conclusions as a result of past traumas, and repetitive experiences. We build beliefs by generalizing from our experiences of the world and those of other people. Some beliefs come to us ready made from the culture and environment we are born into. When we are young, we believe what we are told about ourselves and the world, because we have no way of testing, and these beliefs may persist unmodified by our later achievements, because they had parental authority and became embedded as unconscious and subconscious commands in our Ego.

Our beliefs are a very powerful force in our behavior. It is common wisdom that if someone really believes he can do something he will do it, and if he believes something is impossible no amount of effort will convince him that it can be accomplished. What is unfortunate is that many sick people, such as those with cancer or heart disease, will often present their doctors and friends with the same belief mentioned in the story above. Beliefs like “It’s too late now;” “There’s nothing I can do anyway;” “I’m a victim…My number came up;” can often limit the full resources of the patient. Our beliefs about ourselves and what is possible in the world around us greatly impact our day-to-day effectiveness. All of us have beliefs that serve as resources as well as beliefs that limit us.

Yet, if indeed our beliefs are so powerful a force in our lives, how do we get control of them so they don’t control us? Many of our beliefs were installed in us as children by parents, teachers, social upbringing and the media before we were aware of their impact or able to have a choice about them. Is it possible to restructure, unlearn or change old beliefs that may be limiting us and imprint new ones that can expand our potential beyond what we currently imagine? If so, how do we do it?

Neuro-Net Programming (NNP) provides perhaps the most powerful and exciting model of the mind and set of behavioral tools in existence. Through the processes of NNP, beliefs and belief strategies may be explicitly mapped and directed. The three most common areas of limiting beliefs center around issues of hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness. These three areas of belief can exert a great deal of influence with respect to a person’s mental and physical health.

Hopelessness occurs when someone does not believe a particular desired goal is even possible. It is characterized by a sense that, “No matter what I do it won’t make a difference. What I want is not possible to get. It’s out of my control. I’m a victim.”

Helplessness occurs when, even though he or she believes that the outcome exists and is possible to achieve, a person does not believe that he or she is capable of attaining it. It produces a sense that, “It’s possible for others to achieve this goal but not for me. I’m not good enough or capable enough to accomplish it.”

Worthlessness occurs when, even though a person may believe that the desired goal is possible and that he or she even has the capability to accomplish it, that individual believes that he or she doesn’t deserve to get what he/she wants. It is often characterized by a sense that, “I am a fake. I don’t belong. I don’t deserve to be happy or healthy. There is something basically and fundamentally wrong with me as a person and I deserve the pain and suffering that I am experiencing.” NNP offers specific techniques to elegantly and effectively help people to shift these types of limiting beliefs to beliefs involving hope for the future, a sense of capability and responsibility, and a sense of self-worth and belonging.

When we believe something we act as if it is true; we have then made an investment of effort. This makes it difficult to disprove; beliefs act as perceptual filters – events are interpreted in terms of the belief, and ‘exceptions prove the rule’. Beliefs are not just maps of what has happened, but blueprints for future actions. Positive beliefs are permissions that turn on our capabilities; they are permissions to play and explore in the world of possibility. Limiting beliefs on the other hand, usually center around, ‘I can’t…’ This may be a valid statement at the present moment, but believing it is a description of your capability now and in the future, will program your mind to fail, as it will prevent you finding out your potential capability. Limiting beliefs have no valid basis in experience.

 Beliefs can be a matter of choice. They change and develop. We think of ourselves differently, we marry, divorce, change friendships and act differently because our beliefs change. We have each created many beliefs about our possibilities and what is important in life, and we can change them.

New Ways of Dealing with Depression

By: Deepak Chopra

Belief #1: Depression is directly linked to stress.

In other words, if awful things happen to you, you will become depressed. Stressors include loss of a loved one, a failed job, bad relationship, tragic accident or major financial loss. We call these depressing events, but Redei found that the genes related to stress are totally different from those related to depression.

Belief #2: Depressed people have chemical imbalances in their brains.

For 20 years, researchers have repeated the mantra that low levels of essential messenger molecules—serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine—lead to depression. “My brain made me feel this way” seems so logical that antidepressants almost entirely work by manipulating levels of neurotransmitters in the brain. But Redei found no depletion of genes that produce these chemicals in depressed people.

It’s a wonder, given the false basis of the theory, that any of these drugs work. And some researchers suggest that they don’t, but depend, in fact, on a strong placebo response in the patients who are helped. To get back to square one, Redei suggests something that should have been obvious all along: Depression starts higher up than chemicals. It starts with the formation and functioning of neurons. To put it in layman’s language, the brain cells in depressed people are adapted to express their depression. This takes the form of neural pathways that carry a message of sadness and hopelessness instead of those pathways that carry a message of happiness and optimism.

Depression starts higher up than chemicals. It starts with the formation and functioning of neurons. To put it in layman’s language, the brain cells in depressed people are adapted to express their depression. This takes the form of neural pathways that carry a message of sadness and hopelessness instead of those pathways that carry a message of happiness and optimism.Being a laboratory researcher, Redei takes her shattering conclusion and heads off in much the same direction as before: She wants to find newer, better drugs that will manipulate genes and neurons rather than manipulating the chemicals they produce. Yet there is a more logical way to proceed, which is to stop making depressed neural pathways and healing those that already exist.

How to do that? Current research is very optimistic, because it turns out that the positive lifestyle changes advised for such a long time actually change both genetic expression and neural pathways. In other words, your brain cells listen to your behavior and beliefs, and if those behaviors and beliefs are powerful enough, the brain changes. What this means is that therapy, spiritual practices, healthy relationships, love and compassion, avoidance of toxins, meditation and stress management aren’t secondary. They are central to dealing with depression and anxiety.

The deep lesson emerging from Redei’s new findings is that drugs will never be the way. The way is far more human, and therefore complicated. It would be nice if popping a pill improved your life, but only you can do that. The ball is back in the court of the human potential movement and its promise of higher consciousness as the road to health and wholeness. I for one view that as a great improvement over drugs, which can be saved for critical and chronic conditions when more human strategies have not worked.

Embrace the Shadow

Shame, guilt and fear cannot be accessed by thinking. The shadow isn’t a region of thoughts and words. Even when you have a flash of memory and recall such emotions, you are using a part of the higher brain – the cortex – that cannot touch the shadow. The journey of descent begins only when you find the doorway to the lower brain, where experience is sorted out not according to reason but according to intense feelings. There is an ongoing drama inside your lower brain (identified with the limbic system, which processes emotions, and the reptilian brain, which reacts in terms of raw threat and survival).

In this drama, many issues that would be interpreted reasonably by the higher brain – getting stuck in traffic, losing out on a business deal, being passed over at work, having a girl turn you down for a date – trigger irrational responses. Without realizing it, everyday events are causing our lower brain to draw the following conclusions: I am so hurt, I will never recover. They put me in agony. I don’t deserve to exist. Everything is hopeless – I’m lost in the dark forever. Nobody loves me. No matter how free you feel from these shadow energies, they exist inside you. If they didn’t, you would be in a state of total freedom, joy, and unboundedness. You would be in unity, the state of innocence regained when the hidden energy of the shadow has been purified. Today you can begin to learn how to feel your way into the shadow. Shadow energies make themselves known whenever you can’t talk about your feelings. You feel out of control. You feel a flash of panic or dread. You want to feel strongly, but your mind goes blank. You have an irrational dislike for someone, and other such responses. What they have in common is that a boundary is crossed – a controlled situation turns unexpectedly anxious or causes unexpected anger or dread. The next time you experience this, watch and see if you feel guilty or ashamed of yourself afterward; if so, then you have touched, however briefly, on the shadow.

Adapted from The Book of Secrets, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2004).

This is why it is important to be conscious and observe what we feel no matter how uncomfortable. Eckhart calls it the ‘painbody.’ When we learn techniques that allow us to befriend our negative emotions then they are not so scary and we can actually dissolve the shoadow and live from the joy body! Cellular Memory Release is just one tool that allows this new type of energy work that is coming forth.

3 Easy Steps to Transforming Your Own Pain Body

                          1. Watch out for any sign of unhappiness in yourself in whatever form—it may be the awakening pain-body. This can take the form of irritation, impatience, a somber mood, a desire to hurt, anger, rage, depression, a need to have some drama in your relationship and so on. Catch the pain-body the moment it awakens from its dormant stage.

                          2. Observe the resistance within yourself. Observe the attachment to your pain. Be very alert. Observe the peculiar pleasure you derive from being unhappy. Observe the compulsion to talk or think about it. The resistance will cease if you make it conscious.

                          3. Focus attention on the negative feeling inside you. Know that it is the pain-body. Accept that it is there. Don’t think about it—don’t let the feeling turn into thinking. Don’t judge yourself out of it. Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you.

 Sit comfortably and quietly. Let your body rest easily. Breathe gently. Let go of your thoughts, past and future, memories and plans. Just be present. Begin to let your own precious body reveal the places that most need healing.

Allow the physical pains, tension, disease, or wounds to show themselves. Bring a careful and kind attention to these painful places. Slowly and carefully feel their physical energy. Notice what is deep inside them, the pulsations, throbbing, tension, needles, fear, contraction, aching, that make up what we call pain. Allow these all to be felt fully, to be held in a receptive and kind attention. Then, be aware of the surrounding area of your body. If there is contraction and holding, notice this gently. Breathe softly and let it open.

In the same way, be aware of any aversion or resistance in your mind. Notice the thoughts and fears that accompany the pain you are exploring:
“It will never go away.”
“I can’t stand it.”
“I don’t deserve this.”
“It is too hard, too much trouble, too deep,” etc.

Let these thoughts rest in your kind attention for a time. Then gently return to your physical body. Let your awareness be deeper and more allowing now. Again, feel the layers of the place of pain, and allow each layer that opens to move, to intensify, or dissolve in its own time. Bring your attention to the pain as if you were gently comforting a child, holding it all in a loving and soothing attention. Breathe softly into it, accepting all that is present with a healing kindness.
Continue this meditation until you feel reconnected with whatever part of your body calls you, until you feel at peace.

 When a feeling or thought arises, your intention should not be to chase it away, hate it, worry about it, or be frightened by it. So what exactly should you be doing concerning such thoughts and feelings? Simply acknowledge their presence.
For example, when a feeling of sadness arises, immediately recognize it: “A feeling of sadness has just arisen in me.” If the feeling of sadness continues, continue to recognize: “A feeling of sadness is still in me.” If there is a thought like, “It’s late but the neighbors are surely making a lot of noise,” recognize that the thought has arisen. If the thought continues to exist, continue to recognize it. If a different feeling or thought arises, recognize it in the same manner.

The essential thing is not to let any feeling or thought arise without recognizing it in mindfulness, like a palace guard who is aware of every face that passes through the front corridor. If there are no feelings or thoughts present, then recognize that there are no feelings or thoughts present. Practicing like this is to become mindful of your feelings and thoughts. You will soon arrive at taking hold of your mind.

Namaste’ G.